One of the core components of complex trauma is a loss of choice. This loss of choice could be described as feeling powerless, helpless, abandoned, under-supported, pushed, misunderstood, controlled, manipulated, and more.

So in order for a somatic practice to be healing, choice needs to prioritized. Choice needs to be restored. A hallmark guideline for somatic practice is: "Choosing is more important than doing."

As we begin working with our bodies, it is important to check-in and gain emotional consent to begin a practice. Emotional consent is seeking inner permission to engage with a practice and our inner experience. We tune in to see if there is a willingness to explore. Emotional consent gives us space to assess our current capacity.

This process of consent is ongoing. We continue to check-in with ourselves to see if we need to take a break, adjust the practice, or seek support. We honor our body yes's, our body no's, and our body's maybe's, learning to discern our body's reluctance and our body's full stop.

It can be difficult to recognize and honor our embodied no. Growing up, our embodied no may have been bypassed, ignored, minimized, or punished. We often internalize these behaviors, disconnecting from our body no in the name of survival. When we offer ourselves, our parts, and our bodies the opportunity to consent, we build internal safety.

One of the places we can begin to practice recognizing and honoring our body yes, no, and maybe is through the somatic practices in this program. Each time you honor the body no over completion of the practice, you are offering yourself a healing experience. Choosing is more important than doing.

Let's explore what a body no, yes, and maybe would feel like:

A Body No Could Feel Like:

• Resistance
• Shrinking
• Pulling away
• Folded arms
• Shutting down
• Dissociation
• What would you add?

A Body Yes Could Feel Like:

• Enthusiasm
• Excitement
• Opening up
• Moving toward
• Curiosity
• Warmth
• What would you add?

A Body Maybe Could Feel Like:

• Confusion
• Uncertainty
• Wanting more information
• Curiosity
• Staying still
• Inner Conflict
• What would you add?

When practicing internal emotional consent, remember to take it slow and gradual. This can feel very new to a survival-based system. You may notice inner apprehension or distrust while you practice consent with yourself - parts of your wondering if this is real or will stick around. Consider practicing consent in spaces that aren't as emotionally charged. For example, you could check in with yourself as you sit on a couch or chair. Is there a position that would feel more comfortable? Can you make an adjustment that would support your body better? Would your body actually like to move? What do you hear - a yes, a no, or a maybe?

Dysregulation As A Body Cue

Somatic practices are meant to be supportive containers for connection to the body, emotions, and physical sensations. They are meant to help us move through these experiences in resourced ways.

Some of the emotions and sensations that surface could be uncomfortable or painful, such as grief and anger. Learning to be with our painful emotions in a resourced way is how we learn to listen to the body story and integrate all parts of ourselves.

Discomfort can be a part of our somatic practice. Discomfort differs from dysregulation and dissociation. If we find the somatic practice to be triggering or dissociating, we need to step away from the practice. Our bodies won't resonate with every practice. Some may not work for us, and that is okay.

Let me give two examples:

This is a reluctance example: When I'm in a freeze state, and I consider going for a walk. I may encounter reluctance, like "I don't really want to do that. It feels really hard." While I know a walk would benefit my body and nervous system, my body may feel reluctant and have a hard time getting started. However, as a I begin walking, I might notice my body beginning to up-regulate and find more energy.

This is a dysregulation example: When I'm experiencing some big emotions, I might consider some intentional body shaking. When I begin to shake, I may notice that my anxiety increases, and I feel more out-of-control. Shaking, in that moment, is making me feel ungrounded and increasing my dysregulation. After noticing this, I would stop this somatic practice and look for other options.

Throughout each of these examples, choice is present. I can stop at any time. I can make adjustments at any time. I can switch up the practice at any time. Each time I compassionately listen and respond to my body's feedback I experience healing, because I'm honoring my right to choose.

Developing somatic awareness, which is curious and mindful attention to our body's feedback, is like learning to have a conversation with our bodies. As we become more familiar with our body's language, we can learn to become more responsive towards our body's needs, recognizing that those needs can shift and fluctuate day to day.

Throughout the practices in this guide, continue to consider these questions:

How is this practice working for me today?

Is this practice supporting what I'm experiencing or do I need another option?

What adjustments could I make that would make this practice more supportive?

Am I noticing reluctance, discomfort, or dysregulation?

Gentle Affirmations for Somatic Practice:

• Choosing is more important than doing.
• It's okay if a practice doesn't work for me. I don't have to resonate with every practice.
• Experiencing emotions during a somatic practice is normal. I can check-in to see if those emotions feel supported.
• The purpose of somatic practice is to get to know and befriend my body, not to do the practice "perfectly". I can focus on what I'm discovering, even if what I'm discovering is that it isn't working for me or that I'm having a hard time.
• Somatic practice is a learning process. It's okay if it feels awkward, uncertain, or unfamiliar.